i wish u had erased me from your memory.

I can't bear to imagine how we would have been now... if I were a better friend/girlfriend. I could have been the one who accompanied you during the final days of your beloved Dad's life. You wouldn't have had to face all the sadness and grief alone. We could still be happily together. We could have been to Australia together. We might have had fights... We might have broken up... We might never have been together... but we most probably would still be friends. Despite how much I loved you and I still do, it would kill me to see you suffer ever again. I die a little inside when I see how much you don't want to see me... and how it's possibly due to the sadness in the past to which I am associated.

I have been trying to make up for things. Really, the last thing I want is to make any more damage to our not-really-existent relationship... or to be exact, to make you suffer more than you already have.